第01集
第3季第1集莉亚公主(上)
Joey: I'm telling you that girl totally winked at me.
那个女孩一定在跟我使眼色。
All: Did not, she did not wink at you...
她才没有
Chandler: Huh.
哈。
Ross: I have to say Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison.
我会认为是范莫里森的“土波罗蜜”。
Rachel: Nooo Way! The most romantic song ever was The Way We Were.
不会吧！我会认为 最浪漫的曲子是“往日情怀”。
Phoebe: Uh, see, I-I think that one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's The Boss.
嗯，我觉得是艾尔顿约翰为连续剧《妙管家》里的家伙写的歌。
Rachel: What song was that, Pheebs?
那是什么歌，菲比？
Phoebe: Hold me close, young Tony Dan-za.
抱紧我，年轻的汤尼丹佐。
Phoebe: Hi Monica! Hey Mon! Hey Mon!
嗨，莫妮卡！－ 嗨，莫妮卡！－嗨，莫妮卡！
Phoebe: Oh my God, has she slept at all?
天啊，她到底有没有睡觉？
Ross: Nope.
没有。
Rachel: No, it's been three nights in a row.
没有，已经连续三个晚上了。
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
从昨天起，她终于不哭了，但是她又在阳台发现理查抽过的雪茄，所以。
Phoebe: Oh, ok, that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought oh, ok so it's like a mouse or a opossum.
哦，好吧，这说明了为何我在清晨两点接到一通电话，而我只能听到一些吱吱的声音，我就想“一定是老鼠或负鼠”。
Then, I realized, like, ok where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
然后我就想，好吧，老鼠或负鼠怎么会有钱打电话呢？
Chandler: Morning. Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
早安。-早啊，嘿，你做了松饼啊？
Chandler: Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.
是啊，你还以为我真的会做呢。
Janice: Monica and Rachel had syrup, uh-uh, now I can get my man to cheer up. Good morning Joey.
莫妮卡和瑞秋有糖浆，我可以让我的男人开心了。早安，乔伊。
Joey: Good morning.
早安。
Janice: Ooh someone's wearing grumpy pants.
有人穿着坏脾气的裤子哦。
Chandler: Gotta be you man. I'm wearing smarty pants.
那一定说的是你，我穿着傲慢无礼的裤子。
Janice: Ok here we go. One, two, and here is my chance to give you a third one. Joey?
好了，开始了，一，二，侥幸给你第三个。乔伊？
Joey: No no. I'll just have juice.
不，不。我只喝果汁就行了。
Chandler: Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.
嘿，我有个想法。你干脆别去上班，跟我在一起就好了。
Janice: Oh, I wish. Listen, honey, you have that report to finish, and I've gotta go see my lawyer.
是啊，但愿如此你有报告要做，而我得去见律师。
Chandler: I can not believe I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown-up. Joey, hey, go to your room!
我真不敢相信我竟跟要离婚的女生约会。我真像个大人。乔伊，嘿，回你的房间！
Joey: Chandler, hey, up yours!
钱德，嘿，去你的！
Janice: I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Ok, not without a kiss.
我我我要走了，我要走了。好了，给我个吻才能走。
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
或者我就不亲你，这样你就会留下来。
Joey: Kiss her! Kiss her!
亲她！快亲她！
Janice: I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.
晚点见，甜心。再见，乔伊。
Joey: Bye bye Janice. So when ya dumping her? Nope, not this time.
再见，珍妮丝。那么你什么时候要甩掉她？-不会，这次不会了。
Joey: Come on, quit yanking me.
拜托，别整我了。
Chandler: I'm not yanking you.
我没有整你。
Joey: This is Janice.
这个是珍妮丝。
Chandler: Yeah, I know. She makes me happy.
对，我知道。她让我很愉快。
Joey: Ok. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
好，你看着我的眼睛，告诉我，不眨眼睛，说你不会跟她分手。别眨眼睛。
Chandler: I'm not breaking up with her!
我不会跟她分手！
Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
天啊，你看我在排水管里发现什么？
Rachel: What?
什么？
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! What do I do with this?
这些是理查的头发！我该拿这些怎么办？
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
第一件事就是把它从我身边拿开。
Monica: It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh!
奇怪，但我并不想把它丢掉。这些是我仅有的，属于他的东西，恶心的、排水管的头发。哦！
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. Looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal.
哦。哦。真好玩，好像有一个小人，在你的麦片里淹死了。
Monica: God, what is wrong with me.
天，我是怎么了？
Ross: You need to get some sleep. I need to get some Richard.
你需要一些睡眠。-我需要的是理查。
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
莫妮卡，你跟他分手是有原因的。
Monica: I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called?
-我知道，我知道。我只是不想再这么想他。不愿再去想，他为何不打来？他为何都没打来？
Phoebe: Maybe, 'cause you told him not to?
可能因为你叫他别再打来？
Monica: What are you, the memory woman?
你到底是什么？记忆女王吗？
Joey: They're not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. They're not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
他们不会分手。我是说钱德和珍妮丝。他们不会分手。他的眼睛连眨一下都没有。
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute. Cute? This is Janice! You remember Janice?
我一点也不惊讶。你看过他们在一起的样子吗？他们真的好可爱。-“可爱？”那可是珍妮丝！你记得珍妮丝吗？
Rachel: Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?
是的，乔伊，我记得啊，她很惹人厌，但是你知道吗？她现在是他的女朋友。那我们能怎么办？
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
这就对了！我就是要这种精神 “我们能怎么办？”好，谁先来？罗斯？
Ross: Well I'm thinking Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we all just be adult about it and accept her.
钱德是我们的朋友，而珍妮丝能让他快乐，所以我们就成熟点，接受她。
Joey: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B.All right? Come on people, we need some inspiration!
这个先归类在B计划。如何？拜托，我们需要些妙计！
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. All right, you want a plan? Here we go, all right. So umm ok Ross, you go into the air duct and disable the alarm, ok?
好吧，你需要计划？这样那么，罗斯，你爬进排气管，不要触动警报，好吗剩下的交给我们，放下绳子就行了。
And you know the rest of us will just rappel down ropes. We're in and out in ten minutes and disappear into the night. Huh, huh?
我们要在十分钟之内进去出来。然后消失在夜色中。好吗？
Rachel: Honey, I was wondering...Hmm?
甜心，我在想啊-嗯哼？
Rachel: Do you still have that, um, navy uniform?
你那套海军制服还在吗？
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place. Hmm.
不，我拿去戏服店还了。-嗯。
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
我还有一套高中乐团的旧制服。
Rachel: You remember not having sex in high school, right? Yeah.
你记得高中时不能做爱吧？-是啊。
Rachel: Well honey, what about you? What? I mean, fun, you know, fantasy type things?
甜心，那么你呢？-啥？-你有任何有趣的幻想吗？
Ross: No.
没。
Rachel: Come on you gotta have one!
别这样，你一定有！
Ross: Nope.
没有。
Rachel: Ross, you know what? What?
罗斯，你知道吗？-啥？
Rachel: If you tell me, I might do it.
如果你跟我说，或许我会帮你实现。
Ross: Ok, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?
好啊。你有没有看过《星球大战》的《绝地大反攻》？
Rachel: Yeah.
看过。
Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? He was this uh...really fat worm guy.
你记不记得那场戏，当赫特族的贾霸出现时？他真是个胖胖的虫子怪物。
Rachel: Wow, men and women really are different.
哇哦，男人和女人的兴趣果然不一样。
Ross: No no no see Jabba had, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.
不，不，不。贾霸带着他的囚犯，莉亚公主。
Rachel: Oooh!
哦！
Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.
莉亚公主穿着，金色的比基尼。那样子很好看。
Rachel: So are you saying you would like me to um...dress up like Princess Leia, in a gold bikini?
所以你是说你想让我打扮成莉亚公主，穿着金色的比基尼？
Ross: Ok!
好啊！
Phoebe: Yeah, oh, Princess Leia and the gold bikini, oh, every guy our age loved that.
莉亚公主穿金色比基尼，哦，我们这年纪的男人都很喜欢。
Rachel: Really! Um, um.
真的吗？-嗯，嗯。
Rachel: It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and she became, you know, like, a woman, you know.
很重要的。那个时刻，她不再是个公主，她变成了，一个女人。
Did you ever do the-the Leia thing?
你曾扮过莉亚公主吗？
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, um-mm. Oh!
哦，是的，嗯哼。哦！
Rachel: Really? That-that great huh?
真的吗？有那么棒啊？
Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
不，只是我买了新的传呼机，我把它调成“震动”。再见！
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Rachel: Hi you guys!
你们好啊！
Ross: Look who I found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
你看我在四川龙餐厅外找到谁了？她盯着停车收费表看。
Rachel: Mon. Hi! Hi.
嘿，莫妮卡！-嘿。
Rachel: Why aren't you at work? Oh, they-they sent me home.
你怎么没去上班？-哦，他们他们把我送回家了。
Rachel: Why?
为什么？
Monica: Because I don't work at the Szechuan Dragon.
-因为我并不是在四川龙餐厅上班。
Ross: Ok.
-好的。
Rachel: You really, really need to get some sleep, honey. I know I do.
你真的，真的需要睡一下，甜心。-我知道。
Ross: Hi. Hi.
嘿。-嘿。
Ross: Guess what? What?
你猜怎么着？-啥？
Ross: They published my paper. Oh, really?
有人要出版我的论文。-哦，真的吗？
Ross: Yeah, Statistical Deviations In the Carbon Dating of Fossilized Algae colon History or Mystery?
是的，藻类化石的碳定年法误差统计：历史还是神秘？
Phoebe: Rach, look! Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. There he is.
瑞秋，你看！我那强壮的罗斯天行者何时会来拯救我？他来了。
Joey: Fortune! This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore! !
-哦！-这个家伙好笨。是“拉什莫尔伯爵”！！
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd you say?
你真的该去参加这个节目。好了，听着，我有三张今晚巡游者队的票。你觉得如何？
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to? No, Janice.
我会说，我一定去！太棒了！哦，罗斯也会去吗？-不，是珍妮丝。
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice?
珍妮丝？因为我会替罗斯难过，你知道吗？我们总是一起去的，我们是曲棍球三兄弟啊，我可能误会你了，但你是否不喜欢珍妮丝？
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. Uh...Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair?
没有，对啦。天啊，我该怎么说？哦，嘿，你知道希腊餐厅里，那个头发很蓬的女孩子？
Chandler: Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh!
哦，那个我很讨厌的女孩子？她快把我逼疯了。
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
听着，我不讨厌珍妮丝，只是她令人难以忍受。
Chandler: Well, there you go.
你说出来了吧。
Joey: Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember?
哦，行了。别那样看着我，以前她也快把你逼疯了，记得吗？
Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the Real Thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! Don't worry, those are the right letters.
但是我现在为她疯狂，这次可能是真的，我是说“真的”！别担心，我说的字母是对的。
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
你到底要我说什么？
Chandler: I want you to say that you like her!
我要你说你喜欢她！
Joey: I can't. Like her!
我不能。
Joey: No.
-喜欢她！-不。
Chandler: So you're not even gonna try?
你甚至不想尝试？
Joey: What's the point? It's like this chemical thing, you know.
关键是什么？就像化学反应，知道吗。
第3季第1集莉亚公主(下)
Joey: Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna pull my arm off just so I have something to throw at her.
每次她一开始笑，我就想把我的手臂拔下来，然后往她身上砸。
Chandler: Thanks for trying. Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
谢谢你的努力。对了，根本就没有拉什莫尔伯爵！
Joey: Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?
那个在拉什莫尔山上化妆假扮总统的人是谁？
Ross: How could you've told her? Ross, I didn't think it would that big a deal.
你怎么可以告诉她？-罗斯，我想又没什么大不了的。
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big a deal.
哦，她认为没什么大不了的。
Rachel: Ok, who are you talking to when you do that?
哈，你这样子是在跟谁讲话？
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
这些应该是我们之间，很私密的对话。
Rachel: Ok, Ross, Phoebe is my girl friend, ok? We tell each other everything.
好吧，罗斯，菲比是我的女性好友，好吗？我们无话不谈的。
You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
得了，男人也一样啊。那些更衣室里的对话呢？
Ross: That's different, ok. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staten Island Ferry?'
那又不一样了，我们会谈像是谁跟脱衣舞娘约会或谁在史坦顿岛渡轮的后舱做爱？
Rachel: Were both of those Joey? Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.
这两个都是乔伊吧？-是的。但是不会谈女朋友，还有你们之间亲密的事。
Rachel: Not even with your best friend. Noo!
连最好的朋友也不谈？-不谈！
Rachel: That is so sad. You're missing out so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
真可悲啊。你们错过太多乐趣了，罗斯，那是种互相连结与分享的感觉。并知道他们也和你经历过一样的事。
Ross: Hmph. So what, you, you tell each other everything?
那，你们什么都跟对方说吗？
Rachel: Pretty much.
差不多啊。
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
你们有没有谈过一夜五次的纪录？你有没有告诉她们那次一夜五次的纪录？
Rachel: Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol.
甜心，你那次是跟卡萝。
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
我知道，我想还是值得一提。
Phoebe: Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky plunky music.
全身肌肉放松。听着叮叮咚咚的音乐好。
Ok, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Ok, tell me your happy place.
好的，现在闭上你的眼睛，想一个很愉快的地方。告诉我让你快乐的地方是哪里。
Monica: Richard's living room, drinking wine.
理查家的客厅，一起喝酒。
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
不，不，不，不可以跟理查有关，把酒杯放下。快出来！
Monica: Sorry, but that's my happy place.
对不起，那是让我快乐的地方。
Phoebe: Well, ok, fine, use my happy place. Ok, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything in there.
-好，我的快乐地方借你用，但别乱动东西。
Monica: All right, I'll try not to.
好，我会试着不乱动。
Phoebe: Ok. All right, so, you're in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky...Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?
好。你在草地上天上有一片繁星。-你觉得分手是错误的吗？
Phoebe: Ok, there are no questions in the happy place. Ok, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the tree...
快乐的地方不准问问题。只有和煦的微风和从树上撒下的月光
Monica: I bet he's totally over me, I'll bet he's fine.
我赌他一定忘了我，我打赌他好得很。
Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in happy place.
快乐的地方，不允许赌博和下注。
Ok. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook...
你懂的，那里只有美丽的瀑布、缓慢流动着的喷泉，还有潺潺小溪产生的平静音律
Monica: Ok, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.
好，一点用也没有。我还是醒着的，而且我得去尿尿。
Janice: Guess who?
猜猜我是谁？
Joey: Janice. Hi, you just missed Chandler, but uh won't you come in before you go?
珍妮丝。嗨，钱德刚走，但是，你走之前还是进来吧。
Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
我听说，你讨厌我！
Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.
我，我没说我讨厌你，我可是很小心的。
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
有一只小鸟告诉我，你想扯下手臂，丢到我身上。
Joey: And you got 'hate' from that? ! You're thinking a big leap there...All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we have got to do something about our little situation here Joey.
这样你就觉得我讨厌你？！你也太断章取义了吧-好吧这种情形，我们得想点策略。
So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together. But what does that gonna do...For Chandler!
这是我的主意：你和我花点时间，好好相处。-但是那有什么关-为了钱德！
Joey: Ok. I'm in.
好吧，我加入。
Janice: Ok. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'
-好。这就叫做：乔伊和珍妮丝的逍遥一日游！
Joey:* Does it have to be a whole day? Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.
要一整天啊？-是的，因为这是让你爱上我需要的时间。
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
是，我知道，我睡在你们的隔壁。
Chandler: So, do you guys all hate Janice too?
你们也都讨厌珍妮丝了？
Phoebe: Ooh you hate Janice now? Oh! Joey's going to be so relieved.
你现在讨厌珍妮丝了？哦！乔伊终于可以松一口气了。
Rachel: Oh my God. My God.
上帝啊，上帝啊。
Chandler: Oh look everybody...it's Weepy: The Mime That Cares Too Much.
好吧，看，各位这是在哭泣哑剧：太过担心。
Monica: And I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
我今天去了邮局，寄来的是我订的录影带，是帮理查订的，有关南北战争的。他很喜欢看南北战争。
Phoebe: Monica, do you want us to take you home?
莫妮卡，你要不要我们带你回家？
Monica: Uh, huh. Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away.
或者带我到遥远的银河去吧。
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that? Umm, yeah.
女人什么事都说。你知道吗？-嗯，是的。
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth...
不，钱德，我是说全部的事！你喜欢的东西，她喜欢的东西技巧，精力，周长
Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?
周长？为什么？她们为何这样做？
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we ought to be doing it. You wanna?
瑞秋说分享的感觉很棒，而我们也应该这么做。你想要吗？
Chandler: We're not gonna talk about girth are we? Nooo! Yeah, ok. Yeah? Yeah! All right! You go first.
我们不会要讨论周长吧？-不。-好吧。-好吧？-好！你先吧。
Ross: Ok, ok, I'll go first. Ok.
好，好，我先说。-行。
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing...
有天晚上瑞秋和我在床上讨论彼此的性幻想我就形容了一个画面，星球大战里的
Chandler: Princess Leia in gold bikini. Yes!
莉亚公主和金色比基尼。-好！
Chandler: I know! Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Ok, you- you go. Ok. Ok.
我知道！-这倒挺容易的好，换你了。-好。-好。
Chandler: Ok, well you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
好，当你跟一个女人在床上，正在亲热。
Ross: Hmph.
嗯。
Chandler: And, ah, you know, you're fooling around with her. And you get all these like, mental images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox place...
脑袋里突然出现一些疯狂的念头。就像超级名模埃勒麦克弗森，或是影印店的那个女孩
Ross: With the belly button ring? Oh, muhawa!
穿了肚脐环的那个？哦！
Chandler: I know, And then all of a sudden your mom pops into your head. And you're like 'Mom, get outta here!'
我知道，但是突然之间，你忽然想到你妈。然后你就想 “妈，快走开啦！”
You know, but 'course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what you're doing.
但从那时起，你的脑袋里就只有你妈，而你正在做的事又不能停止。
So it's kind of like, you're, you know. You know...You don't know!
所以你就好像，你知道的，你知道的你不知道！
Ross: Your mom, you're telling me, you're telling me, about your mom, what is the matter with you?
你妈妈？你是说跟你妈一起？你究竟有什么毛病？
Chandler: You said...Ross: I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there.
你说 -我说要分享，不是吓人。你给我坐到那边去。
Janice: We're baack!
我们回来了！
Joey: Hey...
-嘿
Chandler: Hey, what are you guys doing together?
嘿，你们俩在一起干嘛？
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN! !
乔伊和珍妮丝的逍遥一日游！！
Chandler: Really. Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and, you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
真的吗？-我们去看纽约大都会的比赛，还吃了中国菜，你知道的，我爱这个女人你有竞争对手了，兄弟。
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler.
我只是上来亲你一下，我得去接孩子了，所以。待会儿见，甜心你也是，钱德。
Chandler: You still can't stand her can you? I'm sorry man, I tried, I really did.
你还是受不了她，是吗？-抱歉，我已尽最大努力了。
Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.
还是谢谢你的努力。
Joey: But, hey, look, you know, the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together, and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
但是有一点可喜的是，我们整天在一起，而我还能存活。更了不起的是，她也还活着，因为今天是谢伊球场的“球棒”日。
Chandler: I guess that's something. Oh man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway.
我想这还蛮了不起的。-天啊，这可是大事呢！现在我知道我可以待在她旁边，表示我可以和你们一起出去，反正这就是我的重点。
Chandler: Ok.
好吧。
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
哦，嘿，钱德勒，我们在咖啡店停了一下，结果遇到罗斯。
Chandler: Oh God!
天啊！
Joey: Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.
希望这会让你好过点，我也会有这种想法。
Chandler: Really?
真的吗？
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your mom when I'm having sex.
对啊，当我在做爱时我都会想像你妈的样子。
Video: April Twelve, Eighteen hundred sixty one, 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon it is now under bombardment by...
1861年4月12日萨姆特堡的美国要塞遭到炮轰这场炮轰是由于
Monica: Hey, Dad, what are you doing here?
嘿，爸，你怎么来了？
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I'd come into the city for a little Monicuddle. Since when did you start smoking cigars?
你妈今晚打桥牌，所以我进城来看看小莫妮卡。你什么时候开始抽雪茄了？
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
我没有，只是喜欢闻它的味道。你来这里真正的目的是什么？
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure that you are ok.
我只想确定一下你还好吧。
Monica: What makes you think that I might not be ok?
我为什么会不好呢？
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
我看到理查了。
Monica: Oh.
哦。
Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?
所以，你还好吗？
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, but I'm ok. How-how's Richard doing?
我很好，我只是有点累，但我还好。理查怎么样了？
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
你不会想知道的。
Monica: No, I-I really, really do.
不，我我真的，很想知道。
Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
他的情况很糟！
Monica: Really? !
真的？！
Mr. Geller: It's worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
比他失去芭芭拉时还糟。
Monica: You're not just saying that are you? -Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
你不是故意这么说的吧？-不，那个男人简直一团糟。
Monica: Was he crying?
他有没有哭？
Mr. Geller: No.
没有。
Monica: Well, do you think he was waiting 'til after you left, so he could cry?
你觉得他是否等你走后，才一个人开始哭？
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
或许吧。
Monica: I think so.
我想是的。
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me. You know after we graduated from college we broke up for a while.
-我想也是宝贝，感情这回事很难说，就像我跟你妈大学毕业后，我们曾分手一阵子。
It seems her father, your grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did.
她父亲，就是你祖父，似乎希望你妈跟他一样，到欧洲四处旅行。
Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However...
当然，他是为了山姆大叔，因为当时他也在猛轰德国的军用运输列车然而
Rachel: Ok, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you, have a really weird look on your face.
好吧，开始啰我是贾霸的囚犯，而你脸上的表情好怪。
What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
怎么了？甜心，有什么问题？我的头发不对吗？还是别的问题？跟你想像的不同，还是？
Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's...
不，不是你的问题，是
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your kinda like, freaking me out here.
怎么了？拜托，甜心，你快把我吓坏了。
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life.
我恨钱德，那个混蛋毁了我的人生。
第02集
第3季第2集没人准备好(上)
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
好，她们有水，柳橙汁，这个看起来像苹果汁。
Chandler: Taste it.
喝喝看吧。
Joey: Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!
对，这是一杯油，我喝了油！
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
我知道，两分钟前我才喝过的。
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Chandler: Hey, mister tux!
嘿，晚礼服先生！
Ross: Why aren't you guys dressed?
你们怎么还没换衣服？
Joey: We have a half hour.
还有半小时。
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
不，那是四分钟前的事，我们必须在七点四十出门。
Joey: Relax, Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
放心，我们会准备好的，我们只要两分钟就着装完毕。
Ross: Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now.
若你现在就换好，我会高兴点。
Chandler and Joey: Ok.
好。
Rachel: Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.
看看你，多性感啊。
Ross: Really?
真的吗？
Rachel: Ooooh! Wow! ! Oh, hi.
哦！哇哦！！嘿！
Ross: Hi.
-嘿！
Rachel: How come you didn't come over earlier?
你怎么不早点过来？
Ross:'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man.
因为我真是笨得要命。
Joey: Hey, Ross, want some cider?
罗斯，要不要来点苹果汁？
Ross: No. So, um, let's see you're pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.
不要，你快准备好了吧。妆化好了，头发梳好了。
Rachel: Yeah, I just have to get dressed.
我只要换衣服就好了。
Ross: Yay! And that takes what? Just six or seven minutes?
大概只要6或7分钟吧？
Rachel: Yeah! Once I figure out what I'm wearing.
是啊，只要我决定好要穿什么。
Joey: Glass of fat?
要不要喝点油？
Joey: What's the matter Ross? What, you're nervous about your speech?
怎么了？你是不是因为要演讲而紧张？
Ross: No! You wanna hear it?
不是！你要不要听听看？
Joey: Am I in it?
里面有提到我吗？
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
等我感谢完所有捐钱给博物馆的人，我就唱一首歌，歌颂乔伊的伟大。
Phoebe: Hello.
嘿！
Ross: Hey!
-嘿！
Joey: Whoa!
-哇！
Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!
嗨，你看起来真棒！
Phoebe: Thank you! I know, though.
谢谢你，虽然我已经知道了。
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
看到没？这个人准备好，可以出发了。菲比，你…你真是我的偶像啊。
Phoebe: Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny.
那你就是我的幸运铜板。
Chandler: All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. Get up.
好，我做了测验，结果是我把事业放在比男人重要的位置了。起来。
Joey: What?
什么？
Chandler: You're in my seat.
你坐在我的位上。
Joey: How is this your seat?
为何这是你的位子？
Chandler:'Cause I was sitting there.
因为我刚才坐在这里。
Joey: But then you left.
但是你离开了。
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
拜托，我又不是去西班牙，我是去厕所，你明知道我会回来的。
Joey: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.
那有什么大不了的，去坐别的地方嘛。
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
真正大不了的就是我是最后坐在这里的人，所以这是我的位子。
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there. So...
事实上，你最后坐的地方是那里，所以
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vein in my head pops. So...
各位，你们知道嘛？那个一点都不重要。你们俩都必须在我脑血管爆掉前换好衣服。所以
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. GET UP! !
好的，我只要再做一件事，这真的没什么大不了！起来！！
Monica: Hi. All: Hey.
嘿。-嘿。
Monica: Ooh, Phoebe, you look great!
哦，菲比，你看起来好美。
Phoebe: All right already.
好啦，早知道了。
Monica: Ooh, are you gonna do magic?
你要变魔术吗？
Ross: That's, that's funny. Change!
真好笑，给我换衣服去！
Monica: Hang on a second I just got in.
慢点，我才刚进门。
Ross: Look, I don't care. It starts at eight, we can't be late.
我才不管，晚会八点开始，我们不能迟到。
Phoebe: We could not, would not want to wait.
他不能、不会、也不愿等。
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, ok, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
我们的桌子在前方，我老板也会在那儿。若晚会开始后我们才进场，大家都看得到。
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat?
有人喝过我这一杯油吗？
Rachel: You guys, does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
这像是古生物学家的女友会穿的衣服吗？
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.
我不知道，你大概是首开先例吧。
Monica: Rach, did you check the machine?
瑞秋，你听答录机留言了吗？
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Never mind.
没有。等等，这件衣服会显得我小腿很粗，算了。
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
乔伊，我今天写了一首歌歌名叫做“起来”。
Joey: Gee...you know I-I just, I wish there was something I could do to help you.
天我希望我可以帮到你什么。
Chandler: Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up!
起来！起来！起来！起来！起来！起来！起来！起来！起来！
Joey: All right! All right! You can have the chair.
好啦，椅子给你啦。
Chandler: Really?
真的？
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that!
天啊，你看看这个！
Phoebe: "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now.
是我，我正要过去。
Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" Is that too spooky?
若你播放这则留言时我已经到了呢？是不是很诡异？
Ross: "Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!"
“瑞秋，你在不在？是我，快接起来。瑞秋？”
Rachel: What? !
干嘛？！
Ross: Never mind.
没事。
Rachel's sister: Hi, Rach it's your sister. Did you ever sleep with Donnie Mazio? 'Cause last night he kept on shouting 'Two for two'.
嗨，瑞秋，我是你妹妹。你有没有跟丹尼马志奥上过床？昨晚他叫个不停，两个对两个。
Rachel: All right do you want me to get dressed or do you wanna hear a really long story about the senior Hayride?
你是想让我去穿衣服，还是听一个关于夜间坐马车出游的长故事？
Joey: Are you only asking him? Cause I...
你只问他吗？因为我们也…
Richard: "Monica, it's Richard. Call me."
莫妮卡，我是理查，打电话给我。
Monica: Is-is-is that message old or new? Old or new? ! Old or new? !
这则留言是新的还是旧的？新的还是旧的？
Ross: It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep?
绝对是旧的，你没听到两声哔吗？
Monica: What if it's new?
若是新的怎么办？
I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
我们说好不联络的，可能有重要的事，我该不该回电话？
Chandler: Honey, you did call him back. 'Cause, it's, it's really old.
甜心，你已经打过了，这是旧的留言。
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen.
是啊，莫妮卡，你听着。
When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
当卡萝与我分手时，我也经历一样的事。你知道我怎么做吗？
Monica: Huh?
哈？
Ross: I...go...dressed. Really, really quickly. Ok, ok. There we go, there we go.
我去换好衣服。真的要快一点，真的。好。这就对了。
Chandler: You know what, ok, fine.
你知道吗？好吧。
Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here.
别起来了，就坐在那里吧。只希望你别介意我的手放在这里。
Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching, can't get mad!
没碰到，不能生气，没碰到，不能生气！没碰到，不能生气！
Phoebe: Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys!
我的天啊，你们这些坏孩子！
Chandler and Joey: Sorry Phoebe.
抱歉，菲比。
Joey: I'm so sorry.
-抱歉。
Phoebe: What am I gonna do?
-我该怎么办？
Ross: No, no, don't, don't rub it! Don't! What gets out hummus? ! What gets out hummus? !
别乱抹，有什么可以去除豆泥？有什么可以去除豆泥？
Phoebe: Monica, Monica, you know what gets out hummus.
莫妮卡！有什么可以去除豆泥？
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
如果那个留言是新的，他到底打来说什么？
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that.
好，谢谢，我会试试看的。
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say you're obsessive and crazy.
说不定他打来说你执迷不悟而且太疯狂。
Monica: So, should I call him back?
我该不该回电话给他？
The guys: Noo! NO!
不！
Rachel: Ok, do these match?
这些搭配吗？
Ross: Yes, they definitely match.
是的，很搭配。
Joey: They don't match.
不搭配。
Rachel: Uh!
-呜！
Joey: What? They didn't match!
干嘛？他们不搭配！
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair.
很好，我们一起坐在椅子上。
Joey: Fine with me.
随便啊。
Chandler: I'm so comfortable.
我好舒服啊。
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.
我也是，事实上，我可能有点太舒服了。
Chandler: All right!
-好吧。
Ross: Ok, look, we have nineteen minutes. Ok, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Ok.
好，我们有19分钟，钱德，我要你去换衣服。
And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Ok?
等你回来后，乔伊去换衣服，他就会把椅子空出来。好吗？好的。
Chandler: Ok. All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's...sitting in a chair!
好，我要走了。等我回来后这里就是椅子城市，而我是坐在椅子上的那个人！
Rachel: Is this a little too...Pheebs, what happened?
这是不是有点太菲比，怎么回事？
Phoebe: Hummus. I got the hummus.
我沾到豆泥了。
Rachel: Ooooh! Honey, well we'll find you something. Do you wanna wear my black jacket?
哦！甜心，我们会找出衣服给你，你要不要穿我的黑外套？
Phoebe: That won't go with this dress though.
这样跟裙子就不能搭配了。
Rachel: No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on.
没错。我们会发现一些东西。来吧，我们把衣服换掉。
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, no, not out of that, not out of clothes.
不，可别换掉，千万别把衣服脱掉。
Rachel: Mo, Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress?
莫妮卡，菲比可以借你的绿裙子穿吗？
Monica: I called him. Nooo.
我打给他了。-不。
Monica: Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's ok, it's ok, it's ok, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message.
对，我进入他的答录机，然后我留言了，不过没关系，因为那是个随兴，轻松的留言。
It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy?
很轻松。天啊，若听起来并不轻松该怎么办？
Phoebe: Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place.
怎么可能不轻松？不会，这里是个轻松的地方。
Monica: Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.
我知道了，我播放我的留言，你们再告诉我是否轻松。
Joey: But, Monica, how are you gonna do that?
你怎么可能那样做？
Monica: I know the code to his answering machine.
我知道他答录机的密码。
Ross: Ok, Mon, I really don't think this is the...Ok, you're dialing, you are dialing.
好，莫妮卡，我不认为现在应该好，你在拨号。
Chandler: What's going on? Monica's beeping into Richard's machine.
在干什么？-莫妮卡正在进入理查的答录机。
Chandler: Is she crazy?
她疯了吗？
Phoebe: Like a straw? Remember crazy straws?
就像稻草记得吗？疯狂的稻草？
Richard: "Hi, this is Richard. Please leave a message at the tone."
“嘿，我是理查，请在哔声后留言。”
Machine:"You have two new messages."
“你有两个新讯息。”
Joey: Wow, what a cool job. 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.'
真是个好工作。“你有两个新讯息”，“请把馅饼递给我”。
Monica: "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what.
“嘿，我是莫妮卡，我只是想确定一下我有一通留言，不知道是新的还是旧的。
So, I'm just checking. So, let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
所以，我只是问问看。告诉我吧或者不告诉我都可以，我很轻松。”
Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
你不能说“我很轻松”，这样就不轻松了。
Woman's Voice: Hola, it's me, yesterday was really fun. Call me about this weekend, ok?
你好啊，是我，昨天真是愉快。打电话给我谈谈周末的计划，好吗？
Joey: Now she sounded breezy.
她听起来就很轻松。
Monica: He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone.
他开始约会了，我真不敢相信他开始约会。
Phoebe: Monica, you don't know that. Well, who's voice was that?
你又不知道那个是谁。那么那是谁的声音？
Chandler: Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's.
说不定是他妹妹的，说不定是他女儿的。
Monica: Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle?
蜜雪儿，一定是了！听起来像蜜雪儿吗？
Rachel: I-I cannot remember her.
我记不清了。
Ross: Great, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easier to get a cab.
太好了，开始下雨了，这样计程车又更难叫了。
Monica: It was Michelle. Yeah. It was definitely Michelle.
是蜜雪儿，绝对是蜜雪儿。
Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, God, what was I wearing? !
去试穿莫妮卡的绿裙子。不适合，就穿我的灰色丝质的。我要穿那件的。哦，天，我穿啥啊？！
Ross: Well you don't, you don't know what you're wearing?
你还不知道自己要穿什么？
Rachel: Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.
今晚是你的大日子，我只是希望自己好看一点。
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes.
是啊，而我们在12分钟内必须出门。
All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you. Look there-there that looks good.
来吧，我帮你选衣服。那件，那件，看起来很好。
Rachel: Ross, that's a towel!
罗斯，那是毛巾。
Chandler: Ok, you'll notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not.
你看到了，我全换好了。而我呢，也发现你什么都还没换。
So in the words of A.A.Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!" Ok.
所以用米尔恩的话说“离开我的椅子，驴蛋！”-好。
Chandler: What're you doing?
你在干什么？
Joey: Well you said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
你叫我离开椅子啊？你又没说不能带走椅垫！
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
但椅垫是椅子的精华所在。
Joey: That's right! I'm taking the essence.
没错，我要带走精华。
Chandler: Oh-ho, he'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
他会回来的，这里什么人也没有。
Ross: Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.
对不起，我觉得这样很美。
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
这是万圣节服装。除非你要我穿的像小牧羊女一样。
Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
若没有那只可充气的羊，我不会认出来。
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like it back one of these days.
是啊，对了，钱德，我最近想要一只回来。
Phoebe: Oh, Rach, good, listen, isn't this perfect for me!
哦，瑞秋，很好啊，这件是不是很适合我？
Rachel: Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight.
太棒了！但是不适合今晚。
Phoebe: Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!
当然不适合今晚。嘿，嘿！
Ross: Not for tonight. Not for tonight. Notonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing?
不适合今晚。不适合今晚。不适合今晚！那你在干嘛？
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you, I love you, Breathe.
对不起，不是故意的。我爱你，我爱你，深呼吸。
Chandler: We used them as pillows when we went camping.
我们去露营时，把它们当枕头。
