第01集
第一季第1集莫妮卡的新室友上
Monica: There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with.
没什么可说的。只不过是我的同事而已。
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy. There's gotta be something wrong with him!
少来了，你和那个人出去约会，他一定是有什么问题！
Chandler: All right, Joey. Be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
好啦，乔伊，嘴下留德。他驼背吗？驼背又带假发？
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carloh!
慢着，他吃粉笔吗？我只是不想她重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。喔！
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. Relax. This is not even a date. It's not.It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
好吧，大家淡定。淡定。这甚至都不算是约会。完全不算。我们只不过是出去吃晚餐，也不做爱。
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
我觉得听起来像是和我约会。
Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
好啦，回到中学那个时候，我站在自助餐厅中央，突然发现自己全身赤裸。
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
哦，耶，做过那样的梦。
Chandler: Then I look down and I realize there is a phone...there.
然后我低头一看，发现有一支大哥大......在那儿。
Joey: Instead of. Chandler: That's right!
而不是......？没错！
Joey: Never had that dream.
从没做过那样的梦。
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
突然，那个电话响起来了。
Chandler: Now I don't know what to do? Everybody starts looking at me.
然后我不知道该怎么办，大家都开始看着我。
Monica: They weren't looking at you before?
之前他们就没看着你？
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it.
最后，我觉得应该接这个电话。
Chandler: And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.
结果是我妈妈（打来的）。这十分十分的奇怪，因为她从来不给我打电话。
Ross: Hi.
嗨。
Joey: This guy says, "Hello, " I wanna kill myself.
这家伙说句“你好”，我都想自杀。
Monica: You okay? sweetie!
亲爱的你还好吧？
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck.
我就感觉好像有人将手伸进我的喉咙，抓住我的小肠，从我的嘴里拉出来再缠在我的脖子上。
Chandler: Cookie?
要饼干吗？
Monica: Carol moved her stuff out today.
卡箩今天搬走了她的东西。
Monica: Let me get you some coffee.
我给你弄杯咖啡。
Thanks.
谢谢
Ross: No, Oh! No don't! Stop cleansing my aura. Just leave my aura alone, okay? Fine, be murky.
不，喔！不，不要！不要清理我的气息！离我的气息远点，好吗？好吧！继续抑郁吧！
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be happy.
我会没事的，好不好？真的，各位，我希望她会幸福。
Monica: No, you don't.
不，你并不希望。
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
不，我不会的，让她见鬼去吧，是她抛弃了我！
Joey: You never knew she was a lesbian?
你从来都不知道她是女同性恋？
Ross: No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
不知道！行了吧？为什么每个人总是揪着这点不放？
Ross: She didn't know. How should I know?
她都不知道，我又怎么会知道？
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud?
有时候我希望我是女同性恋。我大声说出来啦？
Ross: I told Mom and Dad last night. They seemed to take it pretty well.
我昨晚告诉爸爸妈妈了，他们似乎很好地接受了。
Monica: Oh, really? So that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3:00 A.M. , "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
噢，真的吗？那我凌晨三点接到一个歇斯底里的女人打来的电话，她在电话中抽泣说“我不会有孙子了，我不会有孙子了 ” 那是怎么回事？打错电话啦？
Ross: Sorry.
对不起。
Joey: Alright Ross, Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting.
没事的，罗斯。听着，你现在感到很痛苦，你很生气，你感到很受伤。
Joey: Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints!
我能告诉你答案是什么吗？脱衣舞俱乐部！
Joey: C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones.
拜托，你单身了，找点乐子吧！
Ross: See I don't want to be single, okay?
可我不想单身，好不好？
Ross: I just...I justI just want to be married again.
我只是......我只是，我只是想再婚。
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!
而我只想要100万美金！
Monica: Rachel? Rachel: Oh, God, Monica hi! Thank God!
瑞秋？噢，老天，莫妮卡，你好，感谢上帝！
Rachel: I just went to your building, and you weren't there, and this guy with a big hammer said that you might be here, and you are you are.
我刚到你那里去，而你不在，那个拿着大锤子的家伙说你可能在这里，你真在这里，你真在这里。
Can I get you some coffee?
给你来点咖啡？
Monica: Decaf.
无咖啡因的。
Monica: Okay, Everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
好了，各位，这位是瑞秋，林肯高中的另一个幸存者。
Monica: This is everybody. this is Chandler and Phoebe and Joey. And, you Remember my brother, Ross?
这就是各位啦，这是钱德，菲比和乔伊。还有，你还记得我哥哥罗斯吗？
Rachel: Sure! Hi
当然，你好！
Monica: So You wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
那么你是现在告诉我们呢，还是说我们等四位湿漉的伴娘来？
Rachel: Oh God...Well, it started about a halfhour before the wedding.
哦，天呐，好吧，这大概发生在婚礼前半个小时。
Rachel: I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat.
我当时在放置礼品的房间里。我正看着那个船形卤肉盘。
Rachel: This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. When all of a sudden I realized...Sweet 'n' Lo?
那是个非常好看的船形卤肉盘。当时，突然，我意识到......有糖吗？
Rachel: I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!
我发现比起巴里，这个船形卤肉盘更让我冲动！
Rachel: And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but.
然后我吓到了，就在那时我突然想到：巴里看起来有多像土豆头先生，你们知道的，我的意思是，我总觉得他看起来很像，但是......
Rachel: Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering, "Why am I doing this, " and "Who am I doing this for?"
无论如何，我必须离开那里，然后我开始思考：“我为什么这样做，我为了谁这样做？”
Rachel: So anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
反正我不知道该去哪里，而且我知道你和我有点疏远了，但你是我认识的人里唯一住在这个城市的。
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
没被邀请参加婚礼的人
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
。噢，我有点希望这不是什么问题......
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
现在我猜他给她买了个大管风琴，而她很不喜欢。
Chandler: "Tuna or egg salad! Decide!"
金枪鱼或鸡蛋沙拉？快决定！
"I'll have whatever Christina's having. "
“克莉丝汀店里有什么我就吃什么。”
Rachel: Daddy, I just I can't marry him. I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!
爸爸，我只是不能嫁给他！对不起，我只是不爱他。额，但那对我很重要！
Phoebe: "If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. "
“如果我松开我的头发，我的头会掉下来的。”
Chandler: Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
噢，她真不应该穿那条裤子。
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
我说把她推下楼梯。
All: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
把她推下楼梯！推下楼梯！推下楼梯！
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'.
爸爸，听我说！就好像，就好像 在我一生中，所有人都告诉我，“你是鞋子！你是鞋子，你是鞋子，你是鞋子！”
Rachel: And today I just stopped and I said, What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I want to be aa purse? y'know? Or aor a hat!
然后今天，我制止了，我说：假如我不想成为鞋子呢？如果我想成为一个包？你知道吗，或者，嗯，一个帽子！”
Rachel: No, I don't want you to buy me a hat! I'm saying I am a ha...It's a metaphor, Daddy!
不，我不是让你给我买帽子，我是说我是一顶帽......这是个比喻，老爸！
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
你能发现他哪里出了问题。
Rachel: Look, Daddy, it's my life. Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
爸爸，这是我的生活。也许我可以和莫妮卡住在一起。
Monica: Well, I guess we've established she's staying here with Monica...
额，我想我们都确定了她和Monica住这里了......
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait! I said maybe!
也许那是我的决定，呵，也许我不需要你的钱。等等！我是说也许！
Monica: Just breathe, breathe...that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things.
呼吸，呼吸，就这样。只想着一些让你镇定的好东西。
Phoebe: Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens. Doorbells and sleigh bells. And something with mittens La la la something. And noodles with string...
玫瑰上的雨滴，还有猫的胡须，门铃和雪橇铃还有手套。啦啦啦，还有一些面条......
Rachel: I'm all better now.
我现在好多了。
Phoebe: I helped.
我帮上忙啦！
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know?
听着，这或许是最好的结果，知道吗？
Monica: Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
独立了，把握自己的生活。就像你说的“帽子”的事情。
Joey: And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey.
还有，你还需要什么，你随时可以来找乔伊。
Joey: Me and Chandler live right across the hall. And He's away a lot.
我和钱德就住在对面。而且他经常不在。
Monica: Joey, Stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day.
乔伊，不要勾引她了！今天是她结婚的日子！
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
怎么啦，好像这还有什么规定吗？
Chandler: I got it. Please don't do that again. It's a horrible sound.
我来。请不要再这么干了，这是很难听的声音。
uh, It's, it's Paul.
额，我是，我是保罗。
Monica: Oh, God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in.
噢，天呐，到6:30了吗？让他进来！
Joey: Who's Paul?
谁是保罗？
Ross: Paul, the wine guy? Paul?
保罗，调酒师，保罗？
Monica: Maybe.
也许是吧
Joey: Wait a minute. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
等等，你今晚的“不是真正约会” 是和调酒师保罗？
Ross: He finally asked you out? Monica: Yes!
他终于约你出去啦？是的！
Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
噢，这可真是个可以载入日记的时刻。
Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel....
瑞秋，等等，我可以取消......
Rachel: Ooh God, Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
不，天啊，拜托，不用了，你去吧，没什么的！
Monica: Ooh, Ross, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
哦，罗斯，你还好吧？我是说，你希望我留下来吗？
Ross: That'd be good.
那再好不过了......
Monica: Really?
真的？
Ross: No, go on! It's Paul, the wine guy!
不，去吧！那可是调酒师保罗！
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it? Or he just complains a lot?
那是什么意思？他是卖酒的，喝酒的？还是他总爱抱怨？
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is...everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
嗨，进来，保罗，这是......大家。各位，这是保罗。
Everybody: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
你好！保罗！嘿！调酒师！嘿！
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
对不起，我没听清楚你的名字。保罗，是吗？
Monica: Okay, ummumm, I'll justI'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah...
对，额，我去...... 我马上就好，我正要去，去，去额......
Ross: Awandering?
闲逛？
Monica: Change. Okay, sit down. Two seconds.
换衣服！好了，坐会儿。很快就好。
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
噢，我刚拔掉四根睫毛。不是个好兆头。
Joey: Hey, Paul! Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
你好，保罗！告诉你个小贴士，她很喜欢你在她脖子上同一个地方不停地揉来揉去，直到变红为止。
Monica: Shut up, Joey!
闭嘴，乔伊！
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh...what're you up to tonight?
那么瑞秋，你今晚，额......打算干什么？
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so, nothing.
我本来应该到Aruba度蜜月，所以......没事做！
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon.
是呀，你都没办法过蜜月。
Ross: God. . No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year...
天呐，不，不，不过，阿鲁巴岛每年这个时候......
Ross: Talk about your, big lizards.
可以谈论下，大蜥蜴。
Ross: Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
不管怎样，如果今晚你不想一个人待着的话，乔伊和钱德要过来帮我组装我的新家具。
Chandler: Yes, and we're very excited about it.
是呀，而且我们为此非常兴奋。
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
谢谢了，不过我想今晚还是待在这里吧。今天可真是漫长（不好过）。
Ross: Oh, sure.
是呀，没问题。
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
嘿，Pheebs，你想来帮忙吗？
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
哦，我希望我可以去，但我不想去。
Phoebe: Love is sweet as summer showers Love is a wondrous work of art. But your love Oh, your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon, crapping on my heart, Lalalalala.
爱情就像夏日冲凉一样甜美，爱情是无以伦比的艺术品。但是你的爱呀，你的爱，你的爱就像一只巨大的鸽子，在我心中排泄。
Phoebe: Thank you. Lalalalala
谢谢。Lalalala......呜呜呜呜呜呜......
Ross: I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys.
我应该用这些螺杆把支架固定在侧面。
Ross: I have no brackety thing. I see no worm guys whatsoever...and I cannot feel my legs.
我没有支架，没有看到螺杆什么的......而且，我的腿麻了。
Joey: I think we've got a bookcase here.
我想我们弄好书架了。
Chandler: It's beautiful thing.
看起来不错。
Joey: What's this?
这是什么？
Chandler: I would have to say that is an Lshaped bracket.
我会说那是个L型支架。
Joey: Which goes where?
它应该安在哪里？
Chandler: I have no idea.
我完全......没有想法。
Joey: Done with the bookcase.
搞定书架了！
Chandler: All finished.
完工了！
Ross: This was Carol's favorite beer.
这是卡箩最喜欢的啤酒。
She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
她总是对着罐子喝，我本该知道的（她是女同）。
Joey: You're gonna start with that stuff, we're outta here.
你要是再开始那些话，我们就走了。
Chandler: Yeah, please don't spoil all this fun.
就是，不要破坏所有这些乐趣。
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question.
问你一个问题。
Joey: She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. What did you get?
她得到家具，音响，好电视，你得到了什么？
Ross: You guys.
你们呀。
Chandler: Oh, God!
天呀。
Joey: You got screwed.
你被坑了。
Chandler: Oh, my God!
哦，我的天啊！
Monica: Oh, my God.
哦，我的老天！
Paul: I know. I know. I'm such an idiot.
我知道，我知道，我真是个笨蛋。
Paul: I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week.
当她一礼拜见四五次牙医的时候，我本该察觉到的。
Paul: I mean, how clean can teeth get?
我的意思是，牙齿能多干净呀？
Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?
我哥哥正在经历这种事呢，他糟透了。你是怎么熬过来的？
Paul: I might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers. Say her Leg?
我可能会试着砸烂她的一些贵重的东西。比如她的...... 腿？
Paul: That's one way of doing it! Me, II went for the watch.
那是一种方式！我的话，我砸了她的表。
Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, II shredded my old boyfriend's favorite bath towel.
你真的砸了她的手表？哇哦！我做过的最过分的事情只是剪碎了男朋友最喜欢的浴巾。
Paul: Oh, steer clear of you.
得离你远点。
Monica: That's right.
没错。
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
巴里，对不起，真的对不起。
Rachel: I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other night about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't...It's about me. And I just
我知道你可能认为这都是跟那晚我对你说你穿袜子做爱有关，但不是的，这都是我的问题，我只是......
下半部分
{% aplayer "老友记" "第一季第1集莫妮卡的新室友下" "https://mpdown.kekenet.com/Sound/2016/09/lyjft1a2_0620178PfM.mp3" "/images/老友记第一季分类图片.jpg" %}
Rachel: Hi, the machine cut me off again. Anyway. Look, look...
嗨，机器又断了我的线路。听着，听着......
Rachel: I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me.
我知道会有无比幸运的女孩成为凡可·巴瑞太太。但不是我，不会是我。
Rachel: And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance to...
而且我现在也不知道我到底是谁。但你得给我机会去......
Ross: I'm divorced. I'm only 26, and I'm divorced!
我离婚了！我才26岁就离婚了！
Joey: Shut up!
闭嘴！
Chandler: Come on, stop!
拜托，打住！
Ross: That only took me an hour.
那只花了我一个小时。
Chandler: You gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento.
你得明白，我们两个还没有比曼妥思时间更长的恋爱关系呢。
Chandler: You, however have had the love of a woman for four years.
而你已经和一个女人相爱四年了。
Chandler: Four years of closeness and sharing, at the end of which she ripped your heart out. That is why we don't do it!
四年的亲近和分享，最后她把你的心给伤透了，这就是为什么我们不这么干！
Chandler: I don't think that was my point!
我认为那不是我的意思！
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman and that's it.
你知道最可怕的地方是什么吗？假如每个人只有一个女人适合，知道吗？我的意思是，如果你拥有一个女人，就这么多了。
Ross: Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her.
不幸的是，我的情况是，她拥有了一个女人。
Joey: What are you talking about? One woman.
你在说什么呀？"一个女人"？
Joey: That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you.
那就好像你只有一种口味的冰激凌。
Joey: Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla.
让我告诉你，罗斯。哪儿有很多种口味，有Rocky Road口味，Cookie Dough口味，然后还有香草口味。
Joey: You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream.
还可以和糖条，果仁，或者拌着奶油一起吃！
Joey: This is the best thing that ever happened to you!
这是你一生中能够享受的最好的事情了！
Joey: You got married. You were like, what, 8? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
你结婚了，你当时是几岁，八岁吗？欢迎回到地球！拿好勺子！
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
我真不知道我是饿了还是饥渴了。
Stay out of my freezer!
离我的冰箱远点！
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I...
从她离开我之后，我......
Monica: What? what what...You wanna spell it out with noodles?
什么？怎么啦？你想边吃面条边讲出来？
Paul: No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation.
不是，这更应是第五次约会的事情。
Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date? Paul: Isn't there?
就是说还会有第五次约会吗？ 没有吗？
Monica: Yeah, yeah. I think there is.
是，是，我觉得有的。
Monica: What were you gonna say?
你刚刚要说什么？
Paul: Well, ever since she left me...I haven't been able to perform...sexually.
好吧，自从她离开我之后，我就一直不能正常过性生活。
Monica: Oh, God! I'm so, I'm so sorry.
噢天啊，我真，真对不起。
Paul: It's ok.
没事。
Monica: Being spit on is probably not what you need right now.
我知道被人吐水应该不是你现在需要的。
Monica: How long?
多久了？
Paul: Two years.
两年。
Monica: Wow. I'm glad you smashed her watch.
哇哦！我真高兴你砸了她的手表。
Pual: So you still think you might want that fifth date?
那你还希望有第五次约会吗？
Monica: Yeah. Yeah, I do.
是的，我希望。
We are gathered here to join Joanie Louise Cunningham, and Charles. Chachi, Chachi, Chachi...in the bonds of holy matrimony.
我们今天聚在这里参加Joanne Louise Cunningham和Charles. ChachiChachiChachi的神圣婚礼。
Rachel: See! But Joanie loved Chachi. That's the difference.
看！可是Joanne爱Chachi。这就是区别。
Ross: "Grab a spoon. " Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed a spoon?
"拿起勺子。" 你知道自从我拿起勺子多久了吗？
Ross: Do the words, "Billy, don't be a hero, " mean anything to you?
"比利，别撑英雄"这句话对你有什么意义吗？
Joey: Great story. But I gotta go. I got a date with Andrea. Angela. No, Andrea. Oh man.
真是个好故事！但是，我得走了。我跟Andrea有个约会，是Angela，不，是Andrea。哦，老天。
Chandler: Andrea's the screamer. Angela has cats.
是爱尖叫的那个，Angela有猫。
Joey: Right, thanks. It's Julie. I'm out of here.
对，谢啦。是Julie，我走了。
Ross: Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to to ask a woman out...who am I gonna ask?
是这样的，就算我能振作起来去约一个女人出来，我该约谁？
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I've never made coffee before in my entire life.
是不是很不可思议？我这辈子从来没煮过咖啡。
Chandler: That is amazing. Congratulations.
是很不可思议。 恭喜你。
Rachel: Y'know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.
我想如果我能煮咖啡，没有什么事我做不了。
Chandler: No, I think it's if I can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
不，我想应该是"如果我能入侵波兰，就没有什么事我做不了。"
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something...
听着，趁你现在正进入角色，如果你能做个蛋卷之类的东西......
Joey: Although, actually I'm really not that hungry.
事实上，我没那么饥饿。
Monica: Oh, good. Lenny and Squiggy are here.
真不赖，Lenny和Squigy在这里。
Good morning. Good morning.
早上好。 早上好。
Paul: Morning. Joey: Morning, Paul.
早上好。 早上好，保罗。
Rachel: Hello, Paul.
你好，保罗。
Chandler: Hi. Paul, is it?
嗨，保罗，对吗？
Paul: Thank you. Thank you so much.
谢谢你！太感谢你了！
Monica: You stop.
不要这样！
Paul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness.
不，我给你说啊，昨晚上我就好像我所有的生日、毕业典礼外加大厦落成典礼。
Monica: We'll talk later.
我们回头再聊。
Paul: Thank you.
好的，谢谢你。
Joey: That wasn't a real date. What the hell do you do on a real date?
那还不是真正的约会。那你真正约会时会干什么？
Monica: Shut up and put my table back.
闭嘴，把我的桌子移回去。
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,...it doesn't make much of a difference...
好了，孩子们，我要去上班了。如果我不去输入那些数字......那其实也没有什么差别......
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
好像你们都有工作哦？
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. That's how we buy stuff.
对，我们都有。这样我们才有钱买东西。
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
对，我是演员。
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
哇！我有见过你的作品吗？
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
可能没有，大部分都是区域性作品。
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio at the little theater in the park?
哦，等等，除非你碰巧在公园了的小剧场了看了皮诺曹的重播。
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
听着，那也是份工作好吧？
Chandler: "Look, Geppetto. I'm a real live boy. "
瞧，Gippetto，我是个真正的小男孩。
Joey: I will not take this abuse.
我不会把这样的羞辱放在心上。
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
你是对的，对不起，"从前我是木头男孩，木头小男孩"
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man.
你们该知道，他死定了。
Joey: Oh, Chandler!
噢，钱德？
Monica: So how are you doing today? Did you sleep okay?
你今天怎么样？睡得好吗？
Monica: Did you talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
你和巴里谈过吗？我笑得停不下来。
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
看得出来，你看起来就好像睡觉时有个衣架塞在你嘴里。
Monica: I know. He's just so...Do you Remember you and Tony Demarco? Oh, yeah.
我知道，他只是太......你还记得你和Tony DeMarco吗？是的，记得。
Monica: Well, it's like that. With feelings.
就好像那样。有感觉。
Rachel: Wow, are you in trouble!
哇，你有麻烦了。
Monica: Big time!
太棒了！
Rachel: Want a wedding dress? Hardly used.
想要婚纱吗？几乎没用过。
Monica: I think we are getting a little ahead of ourselves here.
我想我们谈的远了点。
Monica: Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day.
好啦，好啦，我要站起来，去工作了，而且不整天想着他
Monica: Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.
或者我只是站起来然后去工作。
Rachel: Oh, look, wish me luck!
那么，祝我好运！
Monica: What for?
为什么？
Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things.
我要去找那个（思考）工作的事情。
Frannie: Hi, Monica.
嗨，莫妮卡！
Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome back. How was Florida?
嘿，Frannie，欢迎回来！在佛罗里达过得怎么样？
Frannie: You had sex, didn't you?
你做爱了，是不？
Monica: How did you do that?
你怎么知道的？
Oh, I hate you.
哦，我恨你。
Frannie: I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex! So, who?
我拉着我的Roz阿姨穿过鹦鹉丛林，你却在做爱！那么，是和谁？
Monica: You know Paul?
你认识保罗吗？
Frannie: Paul, the wine guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul.
保罗，调酒那个？是呀，我认识保罗。
Monica: You mean, you know Paul like I know Paul?
你认识他就好像我认识他一样？
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul.
开玩笑吧？保罗还欠我人情呢。
Frannie: Y'know Before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
在我之前，他已经有两年没有做爱了。
Joey: Of course it was a lie.
当然那是个惯用伎俩！
Monica: Why? ! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?
为什么？为什么？为什么啊？为什么会有人这样做？
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than :"To get you into bed. "
我猜我们在寻找一个比把你弄上床更深奥的答案。
Monica: I hate men! I hate men!
我恨男人，我恨男人！
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
不，不要讨厌，你不会想要把他们扔出宇宙的。
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
是因为我吗？是不是我有某种气味，只有狗或者有严重感情问题的人才能感觉到？
Phoebe: All right, come here, give me your feet.
好啦，过来这里，把你的脚给我。
Monica: I just thought he was nice, you know?
我原以为他是个好人，知道吗？
Joey: I can't believe you didn't know it was a lie.
我真不敢相信你竟然不知道那是个谎言。
Rachel: Guess what?
猜猜看？
Ross: You got a job?
你得到工作啦？
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing.
开玩笑吗？我一点经验都没有！
Rachel: I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
今天我在十二个招聘中被嘲笑了。
Chandler: And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
然而你却出乎意料的高兴。
Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
如果你发现John和David的皮靴打5折你也会高兴的。
Chandler: Oh, how well you know me...
是呀，你多了解我啊......
Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots" boots.
这就是我的"我不需要工作，我不需要父母，我有我的新皮靴"的靴子！
Monica: How did you pay for them?
你用什么付帐的？
Rachel: Uh, credit card.
额，信用卡。
Monica: And who pays for that?
那谁付帐单呢？
Rachel: Um...my...father.
额......我......爸爸。
Rachel: Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
噢天哪，拜托大家，这样真的有必要吗？我的意思是，我随时可以忍住不乱花钱的。
Monica: C'mon, Rache, you can't live off your parents your whole life.
拜托，瑞秋，你总不能一辈子靠父母。
Rachel: I know that. That's why I was getting married.
我知道，这就是为什么我要结婚。
Phoebe: C'mon, Give her a break. It's hard being on your own for the first time.
拜托，让她喘口气。第一次独立生活是很困难的。
Rachel: Thank you.
谢谢你。
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen.
不客气，记得我第一次来这个城市时才十四岁。
Phoebe: My mom had just killed herself and my stepdad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody.
我妈妈刚自杀，我的继父又进了监狱，然后来到这里，我谁都不认识。
Phoebe: And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority. And then he killed himself.
然后结果是我和一个在港务局给人擦车窗的白化病人住在一起。最后他也自杀了。
Phoebe: And then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
然后我找到按摩这份工作。所以相信我，我完全了解你的感受。
Ross: The word you're looking for is: 'Anyway'...
你想说的话是："无论如何"......
Monica: All right, you ready?
好了，准备好了吗？
No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready!
不不不，我没准备好，我怎么会准备好！
Rachel: "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute? ?"
"嘿，瑞秋！你准备好不带降落伞就跳出飞机了？"
Rachel: Come on, I can't do this!
不要这样，我做不到！
Monica: You can, I know you can!
你行，我知道你行！
Rachel: I don't think so.
我不这么认为。
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything!
来吧，你都会自己泡咖啡！你什么都可以！
C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
来吧，剪，剪，剪，剪，剪......
Rachel: Y'know what? I think we can just leave it at that. Kind of like a symbolic gesture.
知道吗？我想我们这样就可以了。就好像是某个象征性行动。
Rachel, that was a library card.
瑞秋！那是图书卡！
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut......
剪、剪、剪、剪、剪、剪......
Chandler: Y'know, if you listen very closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
知道吗，如果你仔细听，你们也许可以听到上千个商家的尖叫。
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it.
欢迎来到真实世界！它很糟糕，但是你会喜欢的！
Monica: Well, that's it. You gonna crash on the couch?
好啦，就这样了，你要在沙发上睡？
Ross: No. No, I gotta go home sometime.
不，我得偶尔回趟家。
Monica: You be okay?
你还好吗？
Ross: Yeah.
是的。
Rachel: Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor.
嘿，莫妮卡，看我在地上找到了什么？
Rachel: What?
怎么了？
Monica: That's Paul's watch. You just put it back where you found it.
那是保罗的手表。你把它放回原处吧。
Rachel: Oh, boy!
哦，孩子们，
Monica: Alright. Good night, everybody.
好啦。好吧，晚安，各位。
Monica: Good night.
晚安。
Ross: Oh, no, oh no no, go go go. Rachel: oh, sorry. No, you have it, really, I don't want it.
哦不，哦不不，你拿去吧。哦，对不起，你拿吧，我不想要。
Ross: Split it?
分着吃？
Rachel: Okay.
好吧。
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you. Rachel: I knew.
你可能不知道，在高中的时候，我曾暗恋过你。 我知道。
Ross: You did! Oh...I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
你知道！噢......我一直想着你只是觉得我是Monica的书呆子哥哥。
Rachel: I did.
我是这么认为的。
Ross: Oh...
噢......
Ross: Listen, do you think...? And try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here,
听着，你觉得......？不要受我的脆弱的影响。
Ross: but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
但是你觉得如果我约你出去可以吗？有时候？可能？
Yeah. Maybe.
当然，可能。
Ross: Okay...Okay, maybe I will.
好吧...... 好吧，可能我会的......
Rachel: Good night.
晚安。
Ross: Good night.
晚安。
Monica: See ya. Wait, wait. Hey, what's with you? I just grabbed a spoon.
再见......等等，你怎么了？ 我只是刚刚拿起一个勺子。
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
我真不敢相信我的耳朵。
Phoebe: I can't believe what I'm hearing here...
我真不敢相信我的耳朵......
Monica: What? II said you had a...
怎么啦，我说你有个......
Phoebe: What I said you had...
我说你有个......
Monica: Would you stop?
你能不能停下来？
Phoebe: Oh, was I doing it again?
噢，我又来了？
All: Yes!
没错！
Monica: I said you had a nice butt. It's just not a great butt.
我只是说你有个不错的臀部，但不是个很棒的臀部。
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
噢，如果它不凑过来打你一下，你是不知道它是不是很棒的臀部的。
Ross: There's an image.
想象一下。
Rachel: Would anybody like more coffee?
有人还要咖啡吗？
Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
是你煮的，还是你只是服务一下？
Rachel: I'm just serving it.
我只是服务一下。
Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
好吧，我要杯咖啡。
Chandler: Kids, new dream. I'm in Las Vegas.
孩子们，新的梦...... 我在拉斯维加斯。
Ahh, Miss? More coffee?
小姐？能再来点咖啡吗？
Rachel: Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there?
哦，打扰一下，你能把这个给拿到那边吗？
Rachel: Go ahead. Thank you.
继续呀。谢谢。
Rachel: Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
对不起。好啦，拉斯维加斯。
Chandler: Ok, So...I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minnelli.
我在拉斯维加斯......我是Liza Minelli。
